


Cake, Glass, and Smoke

by Tak138



Series: Kai&Nicole [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, F/M, Femdom, Gentle femdom, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Master/Slave, Past Torture, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22350985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tak138/pseuds/Tak138
Summary: Kai fucks up, Nicole doesn't know what to do.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: Kai&Nicole [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612975
Comments: 17
Kudos: 94





	Cake, Glass, and Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Cesarinna (formerly Saphemme)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cesarinna/pseuds/Cesarinna) for beta'ing.  
> Check her out!

Three months had passed since that day. The day he had come home. Kai was pretending he hadn't been counting.

Things were only getting better with each one. His bite healed beautifully, he was chipped, and Alpha lavished him in comforts every hour they were together. Things he had ever expected to be allowed. Every night they cuddled on the couch watching TV, and every morning Alpha kissed him on the cheek right before she left for work. He was still a bit nervous, yes, but by no means as frightened as he had been during those first few weeks. 

Even when Alpha was in a mood, huffing and puffing after a day of hard work, all she would do is kiss his nose and disappear into her office. Then she would come out a few hours later, right as rain, and kiss him silly as an apology. She had even let him make friends with her coworker's omega, as she mentioned on their first day together. 

His name was Ezra, and he was by far the least omega-y omega Kai had ever come across. All laughs and beaming smiles, head held high and shoulders straight. Not a lick of fear in him. 

Their very first interaction, the first time they laid eyes on one another, Ezra had pointed to Kai's shackle scars, then his own, and chimed, "Twinsies!" 

It was impossible not to like him after that. Even more impossible after he'd been over around the time Alpha got home from work. She made that terrible growling, angry sound as she threw her coat in the closet. Kai had still been timid at the time, flinching at the sound of the door flying open. Ezra had jumped to his feet and stepped in front of him, muscles tensed, teeth bared. Ready to take any blow. 

None came, of course, but Kai had been all but starry eyed. Ezra was the best friend he ever could have asked for. And Alpha—Alpha was the  _ best _ . Lovely and perfect and kind and—so,  _ so  _ incredible. With or without Ezra, every day was a joy. A dream.

There was just one problem, Kai didn't know how to thank her.

Of course he  _ said  _ thank you. It was all he could do to keep from blurting it out every five seconds. But actions spoke louder than words. And he needed her to know just how much he appreciated everything she did for him. She didn't have to do any of it, either. Every other day on the news there were reports of omegas being killed or tortured by their owners, and facing no consequences. It chilled him to the bone, to remember he was just a commodity, but it also made Alpha shine so much brighter. He could be sleeping on the carpet of her closet, or in the laundry room on the cold tile. She could hit him, starve him, scratch him, scream at him. Throw him onto the bed and use him until his body simply wouldn't work anymore. 

Instead, she let him sleep in  _ her _ bed. Instead, she kissed him every morning before she went to work, whispering "have a good day, Sweetheart" because she thought he was asleep. She never laid a hand on him if it wasn't to pull him into a hug. 

And there was so little he could do to show her how much it all meant. Of course he kept the apartment immaculate, and cooked all her favorite meals, and took care of Roe, Mistress' cat, as best as he possibly could. But that was what omegas were supposed to do. That was what he was supposed to do. Why would it be anything special? That was just him being good. And yes, he was actually losing a little bit of sleep over it. The idea of his his mistress thinking he just took all of her gifts like he was entitled to them made him genuinely nauseous. And not only because that meant she might one day get fed up and take it all away. 

Each night was growing progressively less and less restful. To the point where she had actually asked about the circles under his eyes. He really needed to figure this out, as soon as possible. Before he started making mistakes. 

So, after much deliberation and chatting with Ezra over the little omega-phone Alpha bought him, Kai decided to bake her a cake. It was simple, and kind of stupid, and he still half expected her to laugh at it. But… He couldn't think of anything else. 

Even Roe seemed to find it funny, chattering at him from her bed on the kitchen counter as he put the cake in the oven. It was in a glass dish, which wasn't ideal. It was actually making him really, really nervous, but it was all Alpha had. 

"I know, I know, it's stupid," he grumbled, and then immediately patted her rump as an apology for his tone. 

He adjusted her sweater, some knitted thing she needed to keep her warm since she didn't have any fur, and smiled to himself as she did that cute slow-blink. He didn't know exactly what it indicated, but Alpha said it meant she liked him.

Kai glanced at the clock on the stove. He had a few hours before Alpha got home, and about a half hour before the cake was done. It was plenty of time, but he still felt nervous. Dinner was already made, ready to be reheated in the fridge, so at least he didn't have to worry about that. Dinner was the rule Mistress had maintained the most fiercely. And by fiercely, she had just given him a small scolding when it had been late one day. Everything else has been gently corrected. That was fine, dinner wasn't too hard. 

No, the hardest part was not staying busy. The apartment was finite, and there were only three of them. Every day he would sweep, and then do the dishes, feed Roe and clean her box, then… that was about it. Some days he would vacuum or do the laundry, but that was once a week. Every day besides that was  _ boring. _ Sure he could watch TV, but none of it really made sense to him. Ezra came over every few days as well, which was a blessing like no other. But he had chores too, so he couldn't be there every day. 

God, it was so boring. Better than endless pain and working himself to death, but he hadn't yet learned how to relax. Every part of him still felt uneasy to just sit and… exist. Like he was bad. Like someone was going to come and electrocute the life out of him for being lazy. By now he knew that wouldn't happen, or at least he was ninety-nine percent sure it wouldn't, but it still itched at him any time he sat down and Alpha wasn't around. 

He decided to try and give it a relax, because he didn't like how his time at the facility dogged him all these weeks later. Not only was it unfair to him and his alpha, it was disrespectful to her. He wasn't supposed to obey the facility rules. So, delicately scooping Roe into his arms, Kai shuffled over to the couch and sat down. 

Roe didn't wriggle like most cats, which was nice. She was his only company some days; it made things so much better that she seemed to like cuddling. As he slowly eased back against the couch, Kai set her on his lap, let his eyes slip shut. He should open a window or something, let them both enjoy the sunny day as best they could.

He had yet to go outside, even on the balcony— another thing that still ate at him. But Kai didn't dare ask for that, not after all the other gifts he had received. Alpha obviously kept him inside because she cared about him. Asking for it would have been like spitting in her face. Ezra insisted that if Alpha hadn't said it was a rule that it was probably allowed, but he didn't know Alpha like Kai did. She expected him to behave, and because of that she didn't set hard rules, just guidelines of what he should and should not do. Scaring the daylights out of her, like he had on their first day, was high on the list of don't-fucking-do-it. And him going outside, showing everyone around that an omega was home alone with no protection, would definitely do that to her. 

Eventually, he turned on the TV, scratching Roe behind her ears the way she liked. All the references and jokes were usually lost on him, and the action always made his heart leap out of his chest. So, unsurprisingly, the only thing he could stomach were animal shows, and even those did little to calm his mind. Only Roe did, with her quiet happy rumblings. 

She was due for a bath soon, judging by the slight oiliness to her skin, but he wasn't going to tell her that. She always seemed to know what he was saying, to the point where he would sometimes swear aloud and have a panicked moment of fear that Roe would tattle on him. 

Yeah, he was still 'royally fucked up', as Ezra put it. 

At some point he managed to doze off, Roe still purring on his lap. 

  
  
  


Kai woke some time later to a shrill, angry beeping, and the stench of smoke. For a moment he could only sit there, utterly confused. Then he saw the ugly gray smoke billowing out of the kitchen. And remembered his cake.

With a cry of panic, Kai launched to his feet and raced to the kitchen. 

"Oh shit—oh—oh fuck _ ,"  _ he blurted. 

The smoke immediately began stinging his eyes, making it hard to breathe, making it hard to fucking  _ see _ as he desperately tried to turn the oven off. It was a mad scramble to the balcony where he threw open the door in an attempt to let some fresh air in, coughing and hacking the whole while. Roe was huddled nearby, startled by all the sounds. Kai grabbed her and all but tossed her down the hall, hoping she would go hide somewhere safe.

Tears streaming down his face, Kai dashed back to the kitchen. 

He was dead. He was a dead man. Alpha was going to  _ kill _ him. Every nice thing he had, every kindness, every mercy, gone, dead. Like him. 

She might—she might even bring him back. 

"Fuck— _ Fuck!"  _ He screamed. Desperately, he tried to wave away the smoke, but it stayed heavy and ugly in the air. The detector just kept beeping, over and over and over. Yelling at him. 

_ You stupid fucking omega. _

_ You ruined it.  _

_ You ruined it.  _

_ You ruined everything.  _

He had to get the cake out. He had to get it out. Maybe he could just throw it away, maybe things would still be okay. 

Without thinking, Kai tore open the oven door, unleashing another blast of that awful smoke, and grabbed the cake pan. It took a second, but then he  _ screamed _ . The hot glass scorched his palms like liquid fire, because like a  _ fucking stupid omega _ , he'd forgotten to grab the oven mitts. He tried to put it on the counter, but instead it just toppled from his hands. 

And shattered all over the floor. On top of his bare feet. 

For a second Kai didn't move. For a second, he didn't even breathe. The pain in his hands was enough to make his vision sway; pulsing, agonizing, he couldn't even blink. One slow glance down, and he saw the blood on his feet, the fragments of glass there. The glass all over the kitchen. The burned cake in just as many pieces. 

It was too much. It was  _ too much _ . Alpha was going to come home and beat him. Worse than he'd ever gotten before. He was going to fucking die, and she was going to hate him, and regret ever wasting a second on the worthless fucking omega that—that nearly set her house on fire. 

She was going to set  _ him _ on fire. 

She was going to drown him over and over and over again. 

She was going to hate him worse than anything in the entire world. 

She was going to hate him because he was  _ bad _ . And he loved her, he'd come to love her with all his heart.

And now all she would do is  _ hate him. _

It was too much. 

His mind whited out. Went quiet. 

The glass crunched quietly under foot as he left the kitchen. He didn't notice the pain. Or the blood that he left on the carpet. Or the way his hand sort of stuck to the doorknob as he went to his closet, his nest.

And hid. 

  
  


\----

  
  


Nicole was testing God the entire way home. 

She'd been in the middle of a meeting when the apartment manager had called. She'd sent it to voicemail, but then they called again. 

Apparently the fire alarm was beeping nonstop, and they could smell smoke. And Kai wasn't answering the door.

She was gunning it down the road, pushing twice the speed limit. Swerving in and out of traffic, running red lights. She had to get home, she had to get to her boy. She had to make sure he was okay. 

Because if he wasn't, she was going to lose her mind. 

Ripping through the parking lot, Nicole parked across three spaces and sprinted upstairs to greet the orderly outside her door. 

"It's been like this for at least twenty minutes," the young beta explained, and Nicole struggled to unlock the door. Her hands were shaking too bad.

"And the smoke?" She demanded. 

"It can't be a lot, it's not coming through the door or anything. Probably just a small accident."

"A small accident," she echoed, horrified. Finally she got the key in, and all but kicked the door open, shouting Kai's name. Roe came scampering from down the hall, completely unharmed, and Nicole scooped her up in her arms. She called for Kai again, and got no answer. In the kitchen they found what appeared to be a cake of some sort, charred beyond recognition, and shattered glass. Lot of it. 

"Uh, Miss," the orderly said tentatively, having trailed in after her, and pointed at the floor. That was when Nicole spotted the blood, and her stomach dropped to the floor. 

"Get out," she whispered. 

The beta swallowed, her eyes wide. "I-I have to inform you, that may have to come out of your security deposit."

"Great," Nicole grunted, her fists clenching and unclenching at her sides, "Now get the fuck out." 

Thankfully, the beta obeyed. Still trembling, Nicole deactivated the smoke detector. There was no fire, not even a scorch mark on the oven. Just the burned cake, the glass, and the blood. 

_ Fuck. _

She tracked the blood to her bedroom, then Kai's nest. Hesitantly, she knocked on his door. "Kai, Sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked. Not a sound. She knocked again, and received no response. 

Carefully, she opened the door and flicked on the lights. "Oh—Oh, Kaius," she whispered. He was huddled up against the wall, between his bed and his dresser. His feet were speckled with blood and cuts, and even some glass still. And his hands— _ holy fuck _ , his hands. She could only just see them, draped as they were over his knees, but she could see the blistering flesh. 

Nicole dropped to her knees at his side, gently grabbed his wrists. Those too were horribly, horribly burned. "Kai, baby," she tried again. He didn't move. Didn't even flinch. He didn't even fucking  _ flinch. _ Swallowing hard, Nicole grabbed him by the chin, forcing his head up. His face was tear stained, his eyes red and bloodshot. They flicked to her, welling with fresh tears, and then went away. 

"Holy shit, Kai, what  _ happened _ ?" she asked desperately. He didn't even acknowledge the question. Nicole got closer, put her face next to his. "Kai, you need to tell me what happened. I can't help you if I don't know what happened."

And still, he didn't look at her. Growing fed up, Nicole tried to pick him up, but Kai screeched. And really, he fucking  _ screeched. _ Throwing himself all over the place, bucking in her hold. He struggled frantically against her, nearly knocking his skull on the corner of the dresser. She had to set him down. 

He went with a thump, back to being dead silent. 

"Oh my god," she whispered, her throat aching as she held in tears, "Oh my god Kai, what happened? What—what happened to you?" 

He just swallowed a sob, burying his head in his knees. Nicole tried again, gently running her hands through his hair. 

"I'm not mad, okay? I'm not mad even a little bit. You're not in trouble. Nothing—nothing's gonna happen to you Sweetheart. Come on, can you look at me?"

He did not. Nicole sat back on her haunches, pressing her hands to her face. Waiting. Thinking if she just came him a few seconds, he would calm down and come out of it. 

He did not. 

After a little while, Nicole fetched some burn ointment from the bathroom and carefully smeared some of that on his hands. Thankfully, he didn't resist that, or when she picked a few pieces of glass from his feet and wrapped them in bandages. 

When she was done, Nicole cupped his face in her hands, seeking some signs that he was doing better. 

But his eyes were still far away. 

"Oh, fuck," she whispered, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "It's gonna be okay, Sweetheart. I promise, I  _ promise.  _ Everything's gonna be alright. You just… you just chill for a bit. I'll check on you soon." 

She got up and walked out, closing the door behind her. 

The place still smelled like smoke. There was blood all over the floor. Glass and burned food in the kitchen. She should—she should clean that up, and then she would check in on Kai again. 

An hour later, Kai still wasn't doing any better. He was probably doing worse, actually. Trembling and whimpering, shying away from her every touch. At first, Nicole had thought it was good, that it meant he was coming out of—whatever this was. But he still didn't acknowledge her. Didn't even seem to know she was speaking to him. 

She was at a loss, so she did the only thing she could do. 

She called Ezra. Being from another state, one that allowed omegas to get a driver's licenses, Ezra was technically allowed to drive himself places. Which was a blessing because Lisa was working late and Nicole didn't dare leave the house. 

"I'm sorry, traffic was shit," he said as he came breezing through the door, "What happened?" 

Ezra was a tall, skinny thing with short black hair and brassy hazel eyes. And he was… he was something else. Not very omega-like, but he got along with Kai, seeming to help her boy come out of his shell a bit more every time he was around. One of the many reasons she tolerated things like his potty mouth. 

He came around enough that Nicole didn't bother hiding her emotions, letting every ounce of panic and turmoil show on her face, not that she would have been able to hide it anyways. 

"I don't know," she croaked, "I think—I think he was trying to cook, and it started burning. The whole place smelled like smoke when I got here. And he—I think he burned himself? His feet are all cut up—he dropped some glass—and he won't—something's wrong with him."

"Wrong how?" asked Ezra, eyeing her warily. Usually she appreciated his protective nature, now it just made her feel like shit. 

"He wouldn't look at me, or talk to me. I don't—I don't know if he even hears me. I'm sorry, I just didn't know who else to call."

Raising a brow, Ezra kicked off his shoes. "He won't do what you tell him?"

She shook her head, heart hammering in her chest.

"That's pretty fuckin’ weird. That boy would jump from a cliff if you told him to," Ezra sighed, "Where is he?"

  
  


\---

Things were blurry after he hid in his nest. It was dark for a long time, the pain in his hands and feet dulling to a low agony. Alpha came and went. He wanted to apologize, wanted to throw himself at her and beg, but he hadn't been able to make his body move. Then she'd come in again, shaking and with her face wet with tears. That had rocked him to the core. The damage must have been worse than he thought. 

And yet he'd just kept fucking ignoring her. 

He didn't want to speak, because then things would start happening. Here he could pretend it was going to be okay, that he hadn't ruined everything. But as soon as he started speaking, as soon as he left his nest, it would be over. 

But then Ezra appeared in his doorway, and Kai nearly jumped from his skin. 

"What are you doing here?" He barked, panic rushing through him like black smoke. "You can't—you can't be here!"

No, this couldn't be happening. In all his wildest nightmares, Alpha had never been this mean. This—this  _ cruel _ . 

He couldn't think, couldn't think, couldn't  _ think. _

Alpha had never been this cruel. Miss Lisa had never been this cruel. 

Surely he was missing something? Surely this  _ wasn't happening _ . 

But why else would Ezra be here? After Kai had been so, so bad. 

Ezra fixed him with an exasperated look, sighing as he came to kneel in front of him. "At least you're talking. You had Nicole worried sick—"

"You have to leave!" cried Kai. He tried to shove him back, get him  _ out _ , but cried in pain as soon as he touched him. Ezra caught his hands, his expression shattering. 

"What the fuck happened to you?" He whispered, looking at Kai's hands in horror. Feebly, Kai tried to tug away, but Ezra's grip was dead solid. 

"Y-you need to leave," Kai whimpered. "Please, please, you can't be here—you have to—you have to go before she—"

"Before she what, Kai?" Ezra stared at him, his gaze hard, and then his eyes narrowed. "Did Nicole do this to you?"

"No! No, I was bad, I—I fucked up, I burned the cake, I—I—" Tears blurring his vision, Kai tried to shiver him away again. "You need to go!"

Ezra released a heavy breath, "Why, Kai? Why do I have to leave?"

"I was bad," he sputtered, heart racing so fast he thought it might explode, "Mistress, she's—she's pissed at me, and I was bad—like really really bad, and when I'm really really bad they—they—"

"Hold on—who’s  _ they? _ "

Kai froze, a thousand sounds rushing through his ears. All he could see were those terrible fluorescent white lights, blood on white tile, a body writhing in pain. 

Ezra grabbed his shoulder, gently squeezing. "Kaius, Honey, where are you?"

He couldn't think. Couldn't remember. Not beyond the howl of screaming in his head. 

"Kai?" There was a hand on his chin again, tilting his head up, until his gaze met Ezra's. He looked—he looked terrified. "Do you know where you are?"

Slowly, Kai nodded. 

Ezra released a great sigh. "Okay, okay, good. Can you talk to me?" 

More hesitantly this time, Kai nodded again. 

"Can you tell me what's got you so spooked?" 

He licked his lips, his throat burning from tears and smoke. He really needed to cough, but the thought of making such a loud sound was frightening enough that he suppressed it. 

"I—I thought—I thought—" he stopped, had to swallow, then tried again. "I-I thought Alpha was going to—to hurt you. As my punishment." 

"What? Why?"

"Because that's what they did at—" His voice cut off as Ezra's eyes fly wide open. 

"Oh my god, Kai.  _ Kai _ . _ " _ He was being yanked forward then, right into Ezra's arms, where he's squeezed until his heart stops trying to run away. 

They sit for a long time, Ezra's arms a warm, comforting comforting weight around him. 

He felt like such an idiot. A stupid, weakminded idiot. Tears burned in his eyes, running down his cheeks and onto Ezra's shirt. 

"You know where you are?" Ezra mumbled near his ear. 

Kai nodded again. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

To this, Kai shook his head. He doesn't want to tell anyone about this, about—about  _ that. _

"You know you're not in trouble, right?" 

Swallowing hard, Kai rasped, "I messed up bad, Ez."

"I know, but I don't think Nicole cares all that much. She called me here because she was worried about you." 

All he could think to say in reply is, "I'm sorry."

Ezra scoffed. "Trust me, I don't mind."

"... is she really not mad?" 

"She might be," Ezra admits, "But only because you damn near stopped her heart. I've never seen an alpha look that fucked up over—over anything, really." 

"I almost set the house on fire…"

"Oh, please, stop being dramatic. People burn shit all the time. That's why Lisa isn't allowed to cook." 

Kai smiled, just a little bit, and looked at his hand. The skin was blistered in most places, red and angry elsewhere. It all hurt. He'd never had a burn this bad before, he hoped he can still work. 

If Alpha still wanted him, he'd have to be able to work. 

"I tracked blood all over the carpet," he remembered, a feeling of horror spreading through him. 

"I think Nicole took care of it. I didn't see any when I came in." 

"I should have done it."

"I think you were occupied, my friend." 

"I-I'm a bad omega, aren't I?" 

"No," sighed Ezra, and Kai could hear the eye roll in his voice, "No, Honey, you're not bad. You're just fucked up." 

He cracked another smile, and Ezra patted his back. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" He asked. 

Kai was silent for a few breaths, before sniffling and wiping his face. "I'm sorry, I don't want to bother you. You probably have to get home." 

"Pssh, don't use that excuse with me. I got all the time you need, okay?"

"I… Alright," he whispered, his hand drifting to his throat, feeling those two tiny scars. "U-Um… there's not a whole lot to talk about. I was awful, you know that already. Eventually they stopped—stopped zapping me, because it was starting to mess me up…"

Ezra nodded, his heartbeat slow and steady. He was so calm, somehow. Always so calm. "Keep going," he urged softly. 

His eyes began welling up with tears again. Thinking of those hazel eyes, always bright with pain. "So they—they… they started to use another one of my batch-mates instead. Number Seven. Everytime I-I so much as breathed out of line, they—" his voice choked off, and Kai had to grit his teeth hard enough to break them, trying to keep the tears in. 

"Bastards," grumbled Ezra. "Fucking bastards. I'm sorry, Kai." 

Kai shook his head, pressing his face against Ezra's shoulder. "S-So when I saw you here, after I did— _ that _ , I-I thought Mistress was going to… to…" 

"You thought she was going to fuck me up," he finished, "Listen, Honey. Nicole is—she's an alpha, alphas are weird as fuck. But I don't think she would do that to you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he croaked, "I know. It just—just got all messed up on my head." 

"Yeah, I can see why… what happened to him? Number Seven." 

Kai shrugged. "I have no idea. I stopped fighting, though they took every excuse to hurt him. After I turned seventeen, I never saw him again."

"What pieces of shit. Any person who works at a facility has to be garbage to let that shit happen."

"Hush," murmured Kai, feeling weirdly defensive, "They're not all bad."

Ezra's gaze was one of pity, but he said nothing further. "Fine. Are you up to see your alpha now?"

"No," he said, a bit too quickly, "Not yet. I-I can't yet."

"Alright, okay," Ezra soothed, running a hand down his back, "Okay, no one's gonna make you. Can I get you to lie down, though? You have to be exhausted."

"Y-Yeah," Kai stammered. "Yeah… I'm sorry, I—"

"Kai, I swear to god, if I hear you say 'I'm sorry' one more time I'm gonna lose it."

Kai closed his mouth, surprised to find a grin tugging at his lips. Ezra was always good to make him smile when he probably shouldn't be. 

Going limp, he let Ezra manipulate him onto his bed. "Now, you're gonna lay here until you feel better, okay?" he instructed. "I'll talk to Nicole, let her know you're doing alright."

"Okay," he whispered, "Um… thanks Ez. Really, I mean it." 

Ezra flashed him a bright smile, "Course. You'd do the same for me, anyways." 

Kai nodded, because he absolutely would. 

"Do you need anything? Water, maybe some painkillers?" He offered softly. Considering it for only a second, Kai shook his head. He didn't want to cause anyone any more problems. Even if his feet hurt with the force of a dozen suns. Ezra hummed, gave his leg a pat, "Alright, I'll leave you be. We're still on for Thursday, right? Otherwise I'm gonna be bored out of my marbles." 

"Of course," Kai whispered, "I-I'm looking forward to it. Th-thanks again, Ez." 

Then he was left in blissful, dark quiet as Ezra vanished out the door. And as Kai lay there for a long while, he had to ponder something. 

_ Nicole. _

He had never heard it before. Never heard Ezra call her anything other than  _ Your Alpha _ , or  _ That Alpha Chick _ . 

He lied there, holding his hands very carefully so his palms didn't touch anything. Ezra was a miracle worker. He had to be, because suddenly Kai could  _ breathe. _ Suddenly his world wasn't clouded with fear and terror. 

Suddenly, he realized just how ridiculous he had been. Alpha was not that cruel. Alpha probably never even thought about hitting him. And he'd gone and worried her half to death.

"A plus, Kaius," he whispered to himself. 

It was fine. He would just have to make it up to her later. Even if he still had to find another way to show his appreciation. 

It was fine. He could deal with that later. Right now, he really, really needed a nap. 

  
  
  


Kai woke to the sound of his mistress getting ready for bed. For a second, he just listened. The sound of the dresser opening and closing, the shuffle of her feet as she went to and from the bathroom. There was some quiet scratching at the base of his door, Roe making her quiet little whining sound. 

"Leave him be, Beast," he heard Alpha say. Saw her shadow below the door as she nudged the cat away. And then the lights flicked off. The sounds of her crawling into bed, of her rolling around in the sheets. 

In the dark, Kai swallowed, bit his lip. 

He felt better. Infinitely, unbelievably better. His hands still throbbed, and his feet still ached with every shift but… he felt better. Tentatively, he crawled out of bed. He had to bite his lip against a whimper as his feet touched the floor. Still, he shuffled to the door, slowly pushing it open to find Alpha on her bed, scrolling on her phone. 

She looked up, her brows high. "Kai! Are you okay? What—what happened?"

"I burned the cake," he whispered. 

"What? Why were you making a cake in the first place?" 

"I…" He didn’t get to finish, because Alpha is peeling her covers back, climbing to her feet.

"How do you feel?" she asked. 

"Better, Mistress," he responded, averting his eyes as she approached. She stood in front of him for a long minute, long enough that he starts to tremble, tilting his head, baring his bite in hopes she might accept his submission.

_ Please, please, I'm sorry.  _

_ I'm sorry.  _

_ Please. _

Alpha sighed softly, kissing him between the eyes. "I'm glad. How are your hands?"

"They're fine," was his reply. 

"And your feet?"

"Fine."

He could feel her gaze on him, knew he was still shaking. Just like he knew he smelled like fear and shame and smoke, just like he knew she's probably upset with him.

Kai dropped to his knees at his mistress's feet, and for once she didn’t rebuke him. He went down, pressed his brow to the floor, whispering, "I'm sorry, Mistress. Please, please forgive me."

"You really scared the shit out of me, Kai," was her quiet reply. "I didn't know who else to call."

Licking his lips, Kai said, "Ezra helped. I'm sorry I— I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional. It won't happen again, Mistress."

Alpha chuffed a bit, the sound enough to make his shoulders relax. "Are you okay? Really, are you okay? Do you—do you need something?" 

"I'm okay," was his response, even if it wasn’t not totally, one hundred percent true. He was better, that was what mattered. "I'm sorry I scared you, Mistress."

"Christ, Kai, it's alright. Get up."

He obeyed, pushing himself to his feet. Alpha kissed him again, running her hands through his hair. He still shook under her gaze, still felt the hitch of fear in his breath, but it's not as bad. It's not nearly as bad. 

"Come lay with me?" she asked, and his heart skips a beat.

"Am I allowed?" He blurted, and immediately regretted it at her sigh. 

"Yes, Sweetheart. You're allowed. C'mon, I've been worried sick."

She took him by the hand, and then when he winced, by the shoulder. 

As she climbed under the covers, tugging him along, he blurted, "Am I going to be punished?"

"No, Love. You're in enough pain."

He let himself be pulled down against her body, let her arms wrap around his center. 

"I'm sorry I scared you," Alpha murmured, her face pressed into his hair. 

Kai bit his lip, tears rushing back to his eyes. "It wasn't you, Mistress. I was just being stupid." 

"... Ezra told me what you thought I was going to do." Kai went dead still, a thousand apologies already on his lips, but Alpha sighed. "I'm not angry, Kai. Just worried. Have I—have I given you a reason to think I would do that?"

"No," he rasped, "No, you haven't. It was just—it was all messed up in my mind. I'm sorry." 

It's not enough, because Alpha sat up, abd looked down at him. "I would never do anything like that, Kai. You hear me?  _ Never. _ "

"Yes Mistress," he whispered. She swallowed, looked away. 

_ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  _

She patted his shoulder, kisses his cheek. "You get some more rest, Sweetheart. I'm gonna stay up for a bit longer."

"Yes Mistress," he replied, and curled up on his side as she left the bed, left the bedroom. 

He didn’t hear the TV flicker on, didn’t hear the door to her office open. It was just… quiet. 

Real quiet. 

His heart ached. He needs her there, next to him. Yes, he was bad, and yes, he was scared. But she was his alpha. When he was scared, he wanted her there.

Even if she was the source of his fears, she always managed to calm him down. Always managed to prove to him he was being foolish. 

And now she was out there. Sitting in quiet. Alone. 

Alone, because he was stupid. Because he was weak, and pathetic, and couldn't get his head to fucking work right. 

Time passed, Alpha didn't come back. After maybe an hour, Kai forced himself out of bed and out into the living room. 

He found her slouched on the couch, staring at her phone, in the dark. 

His voice wavering, Kai croaked, "Alpha?"

She jolted, head snapping his way. "Kai, are you okay? Did something happen?"

Slowly, he shook his head. Then, "I'm okay, I just—I'm sorry, I hurt your feelings."

It was so dark he couldn't see her face. 

"Oh Kai," she breathed, "It's alright. You did nothing wrong."

But there was a waver to her voice. A trembling to her words. He had never heard that from her before. Never, not once. Was she really that upset?"

In a flash, Kai was at her feet. "Let me help," he demanded. 

"Whoa, Love. You need to get off those feet. You need to—" 

"Let me help," he repeated, an edge of pleading in his voice, "Please? Please. I promise I'm okay, I promise I'm not—I'm not that hurt."

"Your hands are burned and there's glass in your feet," she replied, and Kai felt himself flush. 

"I'm not that hurt on the inside," he amended quickly, "I'm not. I just got scared, I do that all the time, you know that. Everything scares me, you don't have to be upset! I'll get better, I will, I promise."

Like a breeze, Alpha whispered, "You get scared all the time, but you've never once thought I was going to torture your best friend, though."

And then he got it. 

She wasn't upset because he was acting funny, or even that he scared her. He'd scared her plenty of times before, after all. 

No, Alpha was upset because she thought he was scared of  _ her. _ And not because she spooked him, or said something accidentally mean. But because she thought it was her  _ fault. _

_ Oh, fuck me. _

Kai adjusted his position, leaning forward to rest his chin on her knees. "It wasn't you," he whispered, "It wasn't. You know it wasn't." 

"You damn well thought it was me," came her reply, voice breaking on the words. Kai had to squeeze his eyes shut.

"It got mixed up in my head, it happens all the time. This isn't your fault, Mistress."

She scoffed, a wet sound, and her hand found his hair. Gently petting. "That doesn't just happen, Kai. I must have done something, I must have said something—"

"It wasn't your fault," he repeated, just a little bit firmer, "It wasn't. I swear that to you. I got lost in my panic, and my mind got mixed up. It's not your fault." 

"You thought I was going to  _ torture Ezra _ . Your best friend, my friend's omega. That's one hell of a mix up, Kai."

"Yeah, and it really really sucked," he said quickly, "It sucked like hell, but it's not your fault. I promise, it's not your fault." 

She laughed then, but it wasn't real. He could hear the tears in it, and it broke his heart in two. "Fuck me," Alpha choked, sniffling, "You're the one that's hurt, I'm supposed to be helping you, not—not the other way around."

"I'm fine," Kai insisted, "I am, I'm okay. This is—this just  _ happens _ , and it's not anyone's fault, we both know that. You  _ told _ me that." 

"I must have done something. Or at least, I could have done something better."

Kai shakes his head, nuzzling her arm and hand. "All you did was get an omega with a lotta crossed wires. Please, please, this isn't your fault at all. I promise." 

"You need to go to bed," grunted Alpha, "You're injured, you need to go lie down."

In the greatest extent if his courage to ever exist, Kai wrapped his arms around her legs and said, "Not without my alpha."

"Oh my god," she groaned, "Kai, come on. You need to lie down."

"Not without my alpha," he repeated. 

"Jesus, when did you get so stubborn?" Alpha muttered. 

"I stepped on a lot of glass and almost caught the oven on fire," he replied, "Come on, we both need to sleep." 

Alpha snorted, but rose to her feet. "What the fuck is this? Where'd my timid, catatonic boy go?"

"My Alpha needs me," he replied, "I'm doing my job." 

He led her back to the bedroom, where they had to boot Roe out of the center of the mattress and back to the foot. 

"Are you sure it's not my fault?" Alpha asked, once they were back to being pressed against each other. 

"Yes, Mistress," he replied. 

"Like, really sure? Because if I did something, I need to know, or else I can't—"

Kai sighed. "It's not your fault, Mistress. I'll say it as many times as you need to. Your only crime here is picking the omega with the most problems possible." 

"Well, I wouldn't say that was a crime…" she mumbled. 

Her touch was too loose, too light. Too damn tentative for his liking. 

"Can you hold me tighter, please?" He requested softly. Alpha snorted, but acquiesced. 

Then, she laughed. Kai turned his head but couldn't see anything. "What is it?"

"Mm, you said 'hell' earlier." 

"Oh, shit," he whispered, and slapped a hand over his mouth. The immediate burn of his hands was hardly enough to quiet his roaring blush. 

"I blame Ezra for this," Alpha chuckled, "That boy has some mouth on him. I don't know how Lisa stands it."

Kai fell silent, a small grin on his lips. At least this laugh didn't sound so… miserable. 

There were a few gentle kisses to his jaw bone, Alpha's arms tightening just a bit more. "Thank you, Kai." 

"Of course, Mistress." 

"You're a good boy, Kai. Really."

And there he went, blushing again. "I-I was just doing my job, Alpha." 

"Either way, you're doing amazing." She sat up again, this time to lean over and kiss his lips. "But tomorrow, I'm taking you to a doctor."

"Im fine—" he protested, but Alpha shook her head.

"Nonnegotiable. I want you to stay off your feet until then, understand?" He didn't immediately respond, thinking back to his first day there. Alpha poked his side. "Understand, Kai?" 

"Yes, Mistress," he replied. She settled back down behind him, her face buried in his hair. 

As they laid there, Alpha falling asleep near instantaneously, Kai couldn't help but figure that, through all the pain and terror and the—the  _ terror _ of that day, one good thing had come from it. 

At least now he knew her name. 

How had he managed to avoid it all these weeks? He hadn't even realized. Hadn't even thought of it. 

But now it was echoing over and over in his mind. And god, was it beautiful. 

**Author's Note:**

> I now have a [tumblr](https://tak138.tumblr.com/) now. What am I going to do with it, you ask? No idea. But it's there. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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